I am not sure what i really desire from blogging? I have been writing everyday for 6 months. That brings me a bit of satisfaction. I have found the Facebook crowd is not really interested in substance. So, I blog?
Do any of us know why we blog? Maybe it is an innate ability to express life, in an artistic form, other than relating face-to-face. Sometimes this is the only connection with the outside world. A comfortable existence, hiding behind a barrier of words. (Or paints, photography.)
Is this why I blog? Not sure. I have gone through times i rebelled against swirling words, the magnetism of letters forming thoughts, the camaraderie found in fellow writers (artists). I wished then to remain hidden. I blanketed myself, safe from prying eyes. Now, from a strength I do not understand, my arm raises, I want to be found. A little. Then quickly retract. What am i doing? Im even more insane than I thought. I am a paradox, a contradiction. One day hating myself and another day lifted on heights of positivity. My life is tiring. It drains me. And the saga rolls forward. One minute my heart rests and the next I am embroiled in a heated debate, unable to keep my feet still. I was not always like this. I was stable, once upon a time.
It finally hit me, it opened my eyes, i saw and was troubled. This girl, who is she? Where has she been? What has she done? Can i even remember half of it, lived in a dream. Running from demons better left buried ten feet down. That which is dug is harder to bury again, it gains a life separated from your power. It thrives on the airs moisture and rides the airs waves.
Still I love poetry, the telling of stories, not long and boring, the reader filling in the blanks. Images arousing the heart and mind, a trip to a wonderland of thought. I guess I will stay on this journey a bit longer. Maybe I will never stop. Honing my skill. I love the encouragement, those who like my posts.
Why like? You know I am really nobody. Still, it is fun to know others resonate or are intrigued by my ramblings. I am learning to enjoy life. Damn, why do tears spoil it everytime? 🌊💙
To my blogging family. 🙃✌🏻️