Posted in music, Poetry


I wrote this poem, not to demean, which some may find, but rather a reality of what sells and how many won’t admit to the true reality.  Others may see something else in this poem. I am curious.

I had a “friend”, if you could call her that, who lived this life.  This is her poem. 

sister cuts her hair
wisps of waves float in the sink
someone plugs the drain

mascara eye paint
blasted evening torched the bar
girls heavy handed

nail clippings puddled
wrinkles outline the shadows
shake my god-damn hand

garage Jazz band plays
greasy hands under the hood
Flash Mob gets lucky…

Do we see the same images?  J


3 thoughts on “haiku

  1. Okay – here goes: Sister cuts her hair/wisps of waves float in the sink; from my point of view – ie connotations that you can bring to a poem – reminds me of my recent visit to a hairdresser who cut too much off my hair, and which I found quite ‘traumatic’ in its own way – ‘traumatic’ in inverted commas because I wouldn’t want to put down (demean) any else’s sense of deep trauma. For me – I could see the humour in my situation, but at the same time – it was traumatic for me – potentially so. I mean ‘properly’ traumatic – it linked in with something that was actually traumatic in my past. But – oh ‘someone plugs the drain ‘ – is someone trying to help me here? Someone sees my plight, and is at least sympathetic, and plugs the drain to stop the complete loss of the hair. (This is still all about me – but who knows what the poet may have meant? This is the ‘school’ of literary criticism I’m interested in – you can’t find the author in it – or it is difficult to be sure – but you can find references that mean something personally to you. And other people may say they have a similar feeling or view – and so you have something shared. You at least have a discussion on your hands.
    ‘mascara eye-paint’ – okay – many of us have lived a life where it is most important to be attractive and feminine – mascara sometimes put in the category of ‘feminine’, but also it can go in the category of ‘trollop, strumpet, prostitute’.
    Further on there is ‘shake my goddamn hand’ – taking the lord’s name in vain, etc – the evening is blasted – is that a reference to a good heavy metal band blasting it out – or could it refer to blasted hell, where these trollops will go with their mascara, their nail clippings and – oh, there are wrinkles outlining the shadows – doesn’t sound good, does it? If it was ‘wrinkles at the edges of shadows’ I might think it was a warning – that in fact, if you don’t bother with makeup so much, you may retain your freshness for longer. Why would they outline the shadows? There is a customary silver lining to clouds – is this dark clouds with wrinkles rather than silver linings?
    I can’t say – all I can say are thoughts that come to me with regard to those lines of the poem – it seems disapproving.
    Ah – there’s a garage Jazz band – I don’t know what sort of music that is – but maybe it was that band rather than the Heavy Metal one I imagined which blasted the evening.
    ‘greasy hands under the hood’ – I don’t know – sounds metaphoric to me, and not just ‘it’s time to go home now but the car won’t start’. What hood where? Who is the Flash Mob and why should they get lucky?
    Seems to me this could all be about those unfortunate women with their mascara and heavy-handedness.

    Liked by 1 person

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