May 11, 2017


Dearest,

This has been a long time coming (going).  A time I wish did not exist but regardless how I feel time is cruel and unrelenting.  It keeps on and on and mocks my tears.  Can you hear me because I feel you are too far away, somewhere on the horizon.  I search and nothing.  The sun sets in my eyes and I am fearful to close them.  I do not want to see what is inside.

Is there such a thing as a future?  My mind is numb to hope.  Hope mocks my pain,  pushes (pulls) me into invisibility, refusing to hear.  My effort to turn and allow the sun to shine into this heart is futile.  Futile I tell you.  Can you reach down into this world and let me know you care because I worry for myself (you).  I really only worry because I no longer can feel.  Hope is all but flown away -with you.  I stand naked unable to don my gown.   I am mocked.

5/11/2017

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