what is it about life that keeps me coming back for more?
i never thought…
oh, that is a lie,
i think too much and then wonder why i have this thick feeling in the back of my throat
unable to speak
more than
a few lines of a poem.

life,
to be continued…
putting
together
words
logic
music
air
water
and creating a monster
i become…
I.
Yes,
this I
feels too big to fit in such a small world
of paper and pencil behind closed doors and people peering in the window
and i feel
the crouching
happening
as

i retreat.
I really do not want to be known as this i
continues to put down her words. whether
good or bad, i…
no you will decide whether my thoughts are worthy.
it keeps me humble
inside.

(morning thoughts 5/13/2017)

10 thoughts on “

  1. I really liked this one. ‘ I become I’ ‘ too big to fit in such a small world’. Sometimes I get this uncomfortable feeling that I should be somewhere else. There are lots of factors to that, sometimes I’m just uncomfortable because I’m wearing fuzzy hot socks outside in summer air. ‘ i really do not want to be known as this’. i have this frequenting my head and heart when I know i don’t make the right decisions. When I know I show jealousy or impatience and I am ashamed for it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for leaving thoughts. It makes the experience worthwhile. Sometimes we are far too hard on ourselves. Within reason we change for the better but we should learn to accept where we are in the moment. Perhaps we vacillate between positive and negative perceptions, perhaps both (un)true.

      You have a sparkle to your voice that is encouraging. 🎢🎢🎢❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well you just went nuts on my posts lol. Thank you very much Jeanne:D And for saying my voice is a little sparkly πŸ˜›
        You have worded it so well. Back and forth between perceptions and accepting where we are, in that moment. Moments create movement so without them, we are stationary. And who wants to stay in one place when there are a thousand fireflies to see or wild waves to swim with. When there are beautiful people to be met and connections to be made!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you. Every time I convince myself to lay my pencil down… well it is difficult to step away from writing and reading other people’s blogs. I thoroughly enjoy this experience.

      Perhaps this struggle is a voice telling me it is not time but to keep on, you are improving. I think it probably was yesterday’s emotions and insecurities that I am not good enough, knowing so many others are far better than me, that prompted my self-effacing manner. And the other me that needs to take off and explore more and just be in space, absent-minded and detached. Not seeing a story or pictures to take in every moment but internal memories to keep my own.

      Maybe your words are meant to be released but you hold onto them. Security. I don’t know what is happening obviously but so many enjoy your words…. Or maybe you are moving into a new space and it won’t (can’t) happen until this time ends.

      Perhaps we both keep writing and find where this path leads. JπŸ€”πŸŒŠπŸŽ­ let me know what you think πŸ’­ about this… here or promisegardens@att.net

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, J….I thought about it after reading your comment, and felt maybe just write till it comes. For me its been a wonderful experience connecting with everyone here…a blessing 8n more ways than one. Maybe thats what keeps me here, there’s a level of genuiness that exists here that is rare to find in the real world…and that has been such a breath of fresh air! So till time permits, and thoughts form into words…I guess I am sure to be around ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

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