Posted in Poetry

Broken Up Thoughts (Vulgar)

“Most days I feel like killing myself. ” Still get those fleeting thoughts… and if i understood why I could stop them, but i do not understand what causes one to want to die. The grass growing? A dog barking? Can’t sit still long enough to do the things you use to love? Like a live electric wire that is burnt out but still trying to surge and end it all. Can’t really name the answer. And i don’t really understand the last paragraph… the sexist stuff. No time to get hung up on things that are not illusions, that we try and make into conclusions not really based on reality but emotion. Emotion is lethal and i really rather flee from all possible evidence that i am alive. It is like the day you cut your hair as short as Annie Lennox because you liked her music and wanted to scream as loud as she sung your favorite song.

Starting over once again
Here I am tell me what to do
I’m not sure why I am the way I am
Love the abuse I assume
Respect me for what I am not what you see
Asking the world to accept something that it can’t
Lost within the confines I set up myself
Built the wall only to rip it down for no reason at all
Waste of time
Standing for nothing yet pretending it makes me something
On the fence I suppose
Get me out of here, in my head
Too long of a vacation with nowhere to go
Locked away, deep inside
Sometimes saying something is saying nothing at all
So many words that I hate, use them over and over again
Bleeding ideas from my head
Forgive the fact I have nothing to say
Respect that I’ll try any ways

Most days I feel like killing…

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