Suicide

As March 1 draws near, emotions bubble to the top. Mostly anger. Then guilt. I rotate through the grief process every year. Denial passed over. The event all too familiar and real.

I think. I thought.

Shouldn’t i be well
by now

the pain of missing you
not seeing your smile
hearing the loving words
from your mouth -voices

ridicule my rest from the tragedy
climbing down the mountain
i scream, it should have been me!

What a mistake
to be happy
climbing
back up the mountain
year after year. Again and again.
Realizing in a year
the steep decline,
a familiar path,
has no net.

But you felt better,
decided to join society,
well meaning people chime. Again and again.
Who can understand this pain?

Musings Photography Poetry

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