Chewing on Glass has done it again. What? Drug a deeply buried nugget inside me, up to the surface, in order for me to see the light! I am opening up the curtains!!! The difficulty will be to keep them open. I will try to remember nothing (good?) grows in the dark, unwatered and starved. (Thanks to Emotions of Life for giving me/you food for thought regarding good versus bad growth.)
All unbeknownst to Layne, I am grateful he stepped forward and shared this blog post. Today, i will scurry to sit and think and get some where with my brother’s suicide. This memory stuck in neutral needs to be eventually parked in order for me to move forward. What stands in my way? The screeching tires, the rubber worn, the honking ignored, the empty tank, the dirty windshield…
Finally, i may get a few answers. I will need to rake through powerful memories. I cannot be afraid of the truth. And perhaps i will find closure. Perhaps not. I cannot fear to face the sorrow. The truth as raw and ugly as it appears.
The questions remain… What happened? Is it possible to heal? Maybe i will figure this out. Maybe not. But i do hope my faith is restored.