thoughts from mid June 2018

As of late i have been thinking. Endlessly the wheel rotates and nothing new is generated. My therapist called it rumination. And typically rumination has led to increased anxiety.

My anxiety is spiked. Last weekend i ran to the White Mountains. Last night i ran to Prospect Hill, to watch the sunset over Mount Wachusett.

The end was fiery.

Soon those sunsets will be a permanent reality. Life is changing. Again. Hopefully for happier memories.

A new home is on the horizon. My phoenix. My vision ripening.

This home sits across the street from a working farm. Soon my mornings will be greeted by crowing and clucking and baaaaahing. Words i can understand. Their bleetings a welcome greeting.

And i will be taking music lessons. The past homeowners are leaving behind a piano. My mother always talked of how she wanted to learn to play. She was comforted by her regrets. I learned wishes are useless unless you move to make them real.

(All the photos were taken by my daughter while i drove obeying all rules. Unlike this poor fellow or gal.)

Update: i am moved in. On Monday, July 2, 2018, boxes of stuff were dropped off. Time to unpack. So far, my mood is stable. I am ridiculously happy…

July 2nd’s sunset. Mild. Predictable. Like clockwork… i am.

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