Learned something new today. Moments. Happen.
I have loved but one man. For thirty years. This experience leaves me rather naive about men and love and how the world works. I have never smoked, taken drugs and my first taste of alcohol was to drown pain at 48. It is three years later and my penchant for rum, brandy and vodka is growing. One feels freer under a bottle’s influence of twisted words and greedy sex. And then he arrived. Hungrier than me. A stinger, a fighter, a god. And he took to my attention, selling wares of satisfaction, provided i comply.
Where am i in all of this? Living in a dream that strikes fear in my heart. A complying pisces who strikes the bait, knowing full well the line can be reeled in, one netted and unable to free herself from captivity!
No! Swim faster…nothing turns out right… miscommunication, ha! amongst writers? it happens and is happening… can you not see my heart… veiled by modesty…
can you not hear my desire… to be friends? ha! amongst writers… where ego takes over
and all sadness aside… my loneliness is welcome… simply wanted, needed, desired a muse…
and you needed, wanted, desired
more than i can, could, will give.
and i will act like i am not hurt but i am hurt. terribly!