Wasting time or time wasting away…

i will be game… and play
so thank you to Philosophy Through Photography

Life is a series of riddles
i propose
to catch the color sphere
children born of wild dreams
this wasting time
or is time wasting me away -again… (jeanne 9/19/2018)

Lightning crashes a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door

Lightning crashes an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now to the baby down the hall

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again

I can feel it.
Lightning crashes a new mother cries
This moment she’s been waiting for
The angel opens her eyes
Pale blue colored iris
Presents the circle
And puts the glory out to hide, hide

Oh now feel it, comin’ back again
Like a rollin’, thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from
The center of the earth again
I can feel it.

Songwriters: Chad Alan Gracey / Chad David Taylor / Edward Joel Kowalczyk / Patrick Dahlheimer

Lightning Crashes lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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I suppose i should shed light on why i chose this song, these lyrics, on this day. Yesterday was my youngest daughter’s birthday. So my mind automatically drifts to birth as amniotic fluids flood in…

choking chlorophyll
induced comas
reds, oranges and yellows
fill my mind

she was born three weeks late… scheduled for a c-section on a monday, she arrived days earlier, on saturday, with the nurses finding no heart beat on the monitors, i lay tied to an operating table, subdued by mighty drugs and gasping air…

baby’s gasps silent

and then i asked “is she beautiful?”

days later i held her
eager to go home
i caught a fever
days ensued and now years later
the nightmare
still plays as she wanders
in fogs of her own.

a baby died
the same day
in the same hospital
that my first child
was born
to a mother
shaking in the wind
afraid to hold a tiny hand
limply reaching to wipe a tear
the news ripped our ears

and not to be out done
my son born
before the doctor
a frantic cabbie
and gassed-up taxi
new york bore silence
as we upstaged the world news
and i slid into oblivion
a homeless man
stationed on 71st and second
hunger pains surrounding me
i wondered how i
could move further
amazed at my strength
men were fed
that day.

so yeah… this! my morning chatter… watered by coffee