absence in wake

Look. Do you see? This picture of me. Look. I once stood in such a door. My vow to not share. My sacred word. My vagrant thoughts.

I break the rules. So am i

desperate against myself? I truly want to be alone. Do you believe me? I think not.

What will any of this pursuit mend? The constant chatter inside our heads. What grows louder

finally succumbs to hate. or are we Love?

change happened
serendipitously
’round blanketed windows
i peeked
to find you coyly approach

erect a shining mirror
i looked and wept
comforted by plump chair
for what seems hours
you numbingly scour
endless riddled notebooks

rewound cassette tape answers
spoken shyly
perched atop tree branches
i watch
leaves fall brightly
to decompose defenses

you taught me errors
learned long ago
wearing humble clothes
ripped jeans and tattered shoes
to provide the ashes
i spread

across my forehead
and linger in this restive room
dressed by your hands
secured with door key
to stand guard against

intruders
who peek in
arrest my trialed heart
a desire to be known
my only way out.