Disclaimer: This post is from three weeks ago. Whether i agree or disagree with these thoughts today or tomorrow… well, they happened. And i write them down, for good or bad. My words and I, we belong to each other, united in this marriage for the long haul. Good luck to me… right?
I know i am nothing to you. I am nothing and nobody… simply a body with breath that speaks timidly.
And i wonder, in my mind, why. Why i dont turn… run.
Run from this insanity. You could never know how pained it is to write, when writing pains me so. My mom insisted “Be a writer.” I can’t write. I object. Writing is a prison and my heart desires freedom. To dance.
I am a dancer. As i swim deeper, the ink sashays across the paper. A pirouette for me!
A vision of a knife carving in ice, the motions of my mind, drawn. Images to blind.
I Bleed. I retreat. I refuse.
I kick and scream… demand the cage door open.
Is death the only way out?
Death to potent dreams has already strangled this blood from flowing to the ocean floor… where darkness, lit by sun, is a home for all i cant speak. Or write. Or be.
So why tell you? I know i cant and so it soothes. Id run if you obliged.
And this, all a dream. A dream that stares from every corner. Mocks me religiously. And maybe
i shouldnt spill so freely…
splatter the whiteness of your eyes.