collision course

Oh my. I think i said too much. I can be quite careless, sparked by passion. Lit by a struck match and ignited by fuel. Kaboom! I have definitely gone off in too many directions.

Without giving away every secret attraction, i best quit while ahead of myself… wait for my senses to catch up.

No worries though. i am rolling towards a cool breeze to sit near the waves. Settle this sizzle. i need to cool off. Lava easily burns. No need to hurt myself or others.

i will find my footing and self-discipline. Discover where i want this blog to go.

What life holds in the cradle of birth waits in the depths of dark…

J💜🕊🎶🎶🎶

One more for the road…

Post. Not a drink. But i think i will pour myself a sour cherry bier from Victory Brewing… right after i turn off my phone a while. (I will be back…)

Love this baby picture of me. One of the few where i am properly dressed. My shoes are shined and my hair is brushed. I am smiling and not crying. Happy. I like to believe my childhood was happy. I think it probably was.

There are no memories to recall from this time period. Similar to when i have had one too many beers, rum and cokes or margarita… Probably best i cannot recall anything at all. That way i wake up happy and carefree!!

Stay safe and have a great weekend. Do not drink and drive.

Catch you all later 🍻❤️🕊🎶🎶

musing on over

She is not crazy. She is a Pisces.

Being a self-proclaimed writer/painter has its casualties. You become lost to foreign worlds and your only escape is reality.

So i have grown to know a few of my blog followers more intimately. And i am honored they have come into my life and shared tidbits of soul with me. And i have shared too. A tad bit.

I have never vigorously pursued horoscopes but recently a few people shared their signs and i must say i am captured. Scorpio and Pisces are my two favorite signs. And being a Pisces i relate to both of them well.

Love is an illusion, platonic friend. Stay a while and rumble through my head.

I have a series of these photos. I love looking at them for hours. Getting lost in the movement. The changing shapes mimic me, day by day. Often hour by hour. I can feel the caress as they wind their way past my eyes and settle where they may.

What do you see?

Knock, Knock…

Norm 2.0 Thursday Doors

What news!! We are making an offer on a house today. And it is absolutely, mind-blowing gorgeous. This rock wall, which Massachusetts is infamously famous, is even more magnificent then this picture depicts. In fact, my heart barely blips on the screen when i look at this photo.

The rock is 20 feet tall and looks west towards Mount Wachusett. There is a perfect view perched atop this mighty fortress. A quick stroll down the road and this…

barely

Steff: Andie, you’re a bitch. (From “Pretty in Pink”)Bitchin’

Now
and only now,

after all this time

I
understand
how the other half of the world

lives.

Do I remember what it was like at the peak of my depression? Or my inability to leave the house ravished by anxiety? Barely. How fitting to turn half a century (March) and be over the suicide ideation battle. I think i won. I think.

Nobody ever promises a rose garden. But i do remember to smell the blossoms while bloomed. Grateful for my loving children…

Dogwood have no fragrance and adequately make up for the loss with an exuberant blanket of petals, stitched together to create a covering for hearts, souls and minds. Enjoy your bitchin’ Mother’s Day, the best way you can!!

Love, j 💗

Transformation

Access life
as if, before the storm,
no longer remains.

Let me know
mold me in your image
pull the strings
sewn into my back
i live to please you
in this moment
watch the stars dance
in this night of black

How can we experience triumph?

Theodicy is an intellectual understanding of suffering. The reconstruction of self and time, remain elusive, but attainable.

We experience our new selves physically, emotionally and spiritually through time. If we fail to let go of the past, it will repeatedly reappear as a ghost in our mind. Our goal is to allow whatever was, become history. If we fail this task, we invite misery to make a home in our hearts.

Life has become exceptionally difficult. Changes abound and more changes intend to roll out.

Boston Doors

Thursday Doors – Door Lovers

Now that I am in a new locale, I can hardly wait to share Boston doors -another door paradise!

When one door shuts, another opens. I have found this to be true. Except I am waiting for the last door opened, to shut! Please, someone buy our house in Indiana! I am begging the gods or God or Karma or even the boogey man at this point! One, because i am looking to buy a new house and nothing can happen until our old house has vanished from my mind! Yes, i am never too proud to beg! Two, i am becoming superstitious and paranoid.

Would love to open this house’s front door and settle my heart “in”doors! The rain is messing up my hair and attitude and the sun is burning my soul. Real estate hell is real!

Fickle (outlines)

The Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge: (out)Lines

A month ago -snow
tomorrow
82 Fahrenheit
and the complaints
come full circle.

You ask…

better to stay within
the lines
be defined
by boundaries -knowing
what tomorrow brings

or do you dare
venture beyond
the scope of man’s imagination
tormented by inconsistencies
and drama?

The future is not for the faint. Hearts face eye-to-eye. Don’t blink
if you want to survive.

Instead of watching the news
she ran away
burned the newspaper clippings
forgot her name
changed the sky to green…

to never be seen. Again.