bullshit and bile

In everyone’s “I’m not going to be phony, phoniness… ”

Ah, I just need to gripe to someone.

I can feel the volcanic ash rising. I’ve been burnt… smoldering for years. I need to release the trash compiled… hidden in recesses and crevices and tunnels.

Cut the crap! Get to the point! I leaf through the Sears Catalog, make my Christmas list, and it includes all I missed, being an adult. How did i miss childhood? While being my brother’s mother, my mother smothered me with her tears. I drowned in her fears.

Will i find my happiness in a bankrupt business? Maybe i can get in on that gig? Or rather i should roam the empty streets where dollar bills are strapped to soul-less shoes?

Is an egret an egret
or of another name
first determine nesting habits
and scope out long cafeteria lines
hungry is, as was,
we find
nothing ever satisfies…

Thursday Door(s)

Realized i have not put up any of my door pictures of late… so, cheers, to the WP door fanatics… and quote gurus.

MFA Boston Pooh exhibit through 1/6/2019

“And by and by Christopher Robin came to the end of things, and he was silent, and he sat there, looking out over the world, just wishing it wouldn’t stop.” -A.A. Milne The House at Pooh Corner

Spring Brook Farms Littleton MA

“I am sure there is Magic in everything, only we have not sense enough to get hold of it and make it do things for us”

-Frances Hodgson Burnett The Secret Garden

Fruitlands Museum cellar door

“The claim that cellar door is beautiful to the ear — in opposition to its prosaic meaning — has been made by and attributed to a wide variety of writers over the years.” New York Times Magazine (click to read the fascinating article.)

Fruitlands Museum

“Once in his life a man ought to concentrate his mind upon the remembered earth.” N. Scott Momoday

Reykjavik Iceland
Reykjavik Iceland
Reykjavik Iceland

“…it’s doors I’m afraid of because I can’t see through them, its the door opening by itself in the wind I’m afraid of.” -Margaret Atwood Surfacing

personal musings unleashed…

i am contemplating buying a typewriter. why? glad you asked!

i am starting to think i spend too much time here… in WP Land. and not enough time producing my chapbooks for family and friends. my time spent here also leaves me little time to work on quilts, paintings, my promise garden or finding a job that pays my heart with fulfillment.

the reasoning behind the typewriter is that it would force me to keep my words private. ah! similar to those diaries that would be buried under mattresses and pillows. or deep in bureau drawers where no prying fingers or eyes could disease the soul.

i believe
the typewriter
may save me…
my life!

or not! i would find a routine where i could post my favorite work of the week… say Monday. here, on my Borderline Crossing blogi know otherwise i would miss you wonderful people. so stay tuned for next Monday… i have my phone calendar set to ring at 6:00 am, so i can post and connect with you.

seasons are changing
again
in my world.
Yours?

now to find a typewriter…

personal musings unleashed…

I see far too many people who are not thinking… and well i have to turn away and protect my thoughts. composting logic
reality forced anger
paths burdened with tears

My religious views are Work-in-Progress and my political views are Independent. I am a free thinker who will listen and either agree or disagree with you. My main philosophy is that life is precious regardless of your worldview. So act like life matters and we will get along just fine.

Side note: Most people, family included, have or had no idea I struggled with suicidal ideation since age 8 until 50. My brother acted on his depression. I wanted to but was fearful of the consequences. We wonder if people who die by their own hands go to heaven. I wonder if we will ever learn to listen and hear people. Even in their silence there are clues… i saw my brother’s anger mixed in with his smile. I was too caught up in raising my daughter that I chose only to see his love for me and Anna and Jeff. I walked past his anger and should have called him to talk. 💔 I play that look over and over in my mind. Like today. I dislike what i see in so many eyes and feel helpless. Daily. How do we fix the pain that surrounds us? How? 💔🌏

Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others.

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. –V Woolf “A Room of One’s Own”

Well… i am off to assemble a “Room of My Own” and enjoy what are the last few weeks of a gorgeous summer. Life is different in Massachusetts. It is a good change for my mental health. A much needed change and very few sour notes exist in my song book. Grateful for the positive energy surrounding me.

Foo Fighters (just making sense)

“It’s YOUR VOICE. Cherish it. Respect it. Nurture it. Challenge it. Stretch it and scream until it’s fucking gone because everyone is blessed with at least that, and who knows how long it will last.” –David Groh

Art of Conversation (reblog)

Art of Conversation 3-2-1 Quote Challenge

Hey 👋🏻 Good Day 🌞 Rory! Happy to participate and thank you kindly!! ✌🏼🎵🎶

Conversation. What is it? A Mystery! It’s the art of never seeming bored, of touching everything with interest, of pleasing with trifles, of being fascinating with nothing at all.

Guy de Maupassant, France, short-story author

I’m always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to someone I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.

Holden Caufield, Catcher in the Rye

I should talk, but i’d rather not, for fear the chance i say something disagreeable and end dear friendships. Yes, i oft agree, conversations cannot be feared, as J.D Salinger trusted not his voice or modern translation amiss, Shakespeare becomes too rough for our time. Rather, conversations are art, when quaint and cheery, let us say… Bilbo Baggins, as he takes a puff on his pipe and embarks on a trek across lands. So, should you ask, inquire of me, i should like to talk… if given half a chance. Jeanne

You are cordially invited to participate. If you do, tag Aguycalledbloke. Thank you.

And Happy Independence Day to all Americans… let no monarchy thought, trap you into believing fairy-tale dreams come true. America is not Disney World as many are led to believe.

personal musings unleashed

Let’s get something straight, shall we?

There is quite a bit people do not know about me and rightfully so. Most will never get to know me much more than what I tend to share here. I feel I share a lot but there is much I keep hidden. I have learned people do not really bother to get to know people. They accept what they want to see. Or hear.

I avoid politics. I hate political statements which are often one-sided.

So if you post anything that smells like politics, anywhere on social media, I will over look you. It is not that i don’t appreciate your support of me, nor have i stopped supporting you, i just do not respond to one-sided arguments.

Alveda King, MLK Jr.’s niece, has an excellent op-ed on her blog, about people’s selective outrage regarding children. We have witnessed countless children ripped from their mom’s, knowingly and unknowingly, and we just now demand some thing be done? Why now? Seems some people’s heads and life are worth more to people’s personal peace than others and most i have witnessed have no qualms about rooting for world destruction, if it means someone they abhor obtains peace for the world.

I think it a shame the way people are behaving today. I am going to lose some friends but i know they really are not friends.

I usually keep quiet. I abhor conflict. But i believe my heart is in the right place here….

All lives matter. Always have. Even my enemies’s lives mean more than my own. I am prepared to die for truth and liberty and compassion for all.

knowledge: 3-2-1 quote

Hey Rory! Good morning ☀️ thanks for tagging, your it for a quotes game… i gladly oblige…

Love, love, love to read quotes and Jimi, Dr Seuss and Epicurus understand knowledge is a gift so i pay it forward and spread their wisdom…

“It is better to know how to learn than to know.” – Dr. Seuss

Here is mine…

And some Jimi jam…

Oh yeah… play along if you like!

laugh first. eventually you will cry.

I am certain of two things, tears are never ending or at least until we turn the spigot off and even then, laughter, when jokes are funny enough, cause the tears to flow. Yes, the two most beneficial emotions, are laughter and sadness, when they effectively produce tears, as those tears cleanse us of dangerous toxins and thoughts. Of this i am most certain.

Hey Rory! Thanks for starting my day off right. (Was i on the wrong track?) I had planned to roll in my mucky thoughts a bit longer… had written a few more dark poems late into the night and early morning… but you switched on the sun and woke me up! Told me to lighten up! How much longer can i spend in winter when obviously summer has arrived in RoryLand and spreading across the pond?

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. — Victor Hugo

Uh oh! Got me here…

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy. — Robert Newton Anthony

Old habits, bad habits… learned from my passed-by childhood, my life was anything but fun when i was young! I was serious and did not participate heartedly with my peers. I had dreams and goals… was easily pranked… it must be fun to watch a serious child be pranked. Is it not? I think i am still angry today… despairing since none of my dreams came true. I am living a nightmare, day and night.

So cheer up this world for me… show me how seriously wrong i am… that we can love and laugh and not be overwhelmed with heart ache. I say, God bless us all with humor today. Let there be laughter!! Smiles for everyone!!

I nominate, to participate, some i have premonition to be funny, even if they rarely show it… or maybe they show it all the time. Hmmm?

Theme: Laughter is the Best Medicine. You can find the rules here. I am seriously too lazy to post on my own.

Aly’s Corner Aly is a brand new blogger and i welcome her with open arms and a great big “hurrah”! I hope once i am moved into our house, to collaborate…

Ashley Shares her knowledge about mental health to enlighten us all.

Dream Walden Anonymous. I still do not know this person’s name. Maybe I should ask… insecurity runs rampant in my head… i may never know! Hahaha!

So, please dear Aly, Ashley and Walden, share your prescription to enjoy this world, heartily with mirth, and drive us all to a better mood.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed. — Bennett Cerf

💜j

As for me… i am running after Woolf. A world all too familiar to me.

The beauty of the world has two edges; one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. — Virginia Woolf