Fish or Bird? Red or White?

I exist in prolific ponderings, defined as poetry in motion. As the ripple of our touch sends gentle waves to hearts, we inspire others to create.

Which would you choose to be?

Did you notice the duck’s reflection? Does he even care? And what of the gold fish? Does he dream of flying away with the duck?

Does a house care about anything that exists within or outside of it’s walls?

I always worried about growing old. I am lucky to be alive. My death desires up until 6 months ago were prolific. As far as choosing bird or fish, red or white, i have no answer. Just an abundance of thoughts. And as for the wrinkles… i will keep them. Grateful to be alive, no matter the secret desires.

For now, i remain hidden in the mystery of life. πŸ’œπŸŒπŸ•ŠπŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽΆ

Rock Solid (944+miles and at day three and four)

West Virginia is beautiful. John Denver talks about the vistas in Take Me Home, Country Roads, the Blue Ridge Mountains a heart’s oasis.

Dinner was delicious at the Iron Horse Tavern, Morgantown WV, with a Huell Babineaux from Bad Shepherd Brewing in Charleston WV. I enjoyed Wild Mushroom Pierogis and the absolute best tomato soup with balsamic reduction. A real sensation for the tongue.

Rock solid.
Day Three: my feet
grounded in the moment.
Day Four: i venture on.

No time to visit anyone’s blog. Hope to read you soon… i am back on the road.

944+ miles ahead (day one-three)

The first stop on our trek across the eastern half of the United States was Columbus Ohio (181 miles). We arrived Friday evening and spent Saturday visiting a wonderful bookshop, The Book Loft, eating lunch at The Thurman Cafe, and consuming the blossoming trees in Schiller Park and the surrounding gardens of German Village homes. What a wonderful Spring day. And the weather was cooperative!

At The Book Loft, an incredible 32 rooms full of books, with Room 13 housing a poetry collection, i found Dorothy Parker’s Complete Poems. Interior is my favorite of her poems so far. I find her to be witty and dry. Perhaps sarcastic. I imagine if i were to have had the pleasure of meeting her, i would have mentally retreated. Perhaps some people are better left to their words and our imaginations.

Today, i embark on a three hour drive to Morgantown, West Virginia (209 miles). A visit to family friends and a shared dinner awaits us in Morgantown.

As i write, the sun has lifted the evening’s hello. I have yet to determine who i will be today. πŸ€”πŸŒπŸ’™πŸ•ŠπŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽΆ

Good Sunday to you. Hope to catch up with a few blogs! 😍

Moving Day is here!

Staying out of the movers way!
Looking toward the day
I can rest my mind and rhyme -Think!
Set up my writing desk
find a place to paint -Dream!
until then, i pledge
to stay out of the movers way.

The biggest day of my life, since i moved to Indiana, has arrived. From this day forward, i move without knowing the future. Security is in the past. Adventure awaits those who walk with eyes wide open.

Trying not to cry! Feeling the exhilarating new of Boston on my brow! My heart is racing, wondering what lies ahead.

And excited to have lots of time to read back posts. See you at your blog soon!

procrastinate

time
to realize
keep to yourself
no one really cares
birthing embitterment of power, now
lost

oh! Dear bloggers. You are a world of its own unto me. I appreciate each and every one of you!! You rock my world!!

Some of you have been on this journey of mine, and of yours, for years. Some bloggers have vanished from sight, succumbed to an unknown planet. Ghosts of oblivion. Sounds peaceful doesn’t it? Oblivion!

I have reached the conclusion i need a blogging break. I am worn from reading and writing, selling and buying, moving from the Midwest to the East Coast. My life is an upheaval of beliefs of not only myself and of the world, but childhood memories. Strangeness ensues. Again.

It will take a lot of self-discipline to keep from reaching out. I need refuge but i also need connection. So no surprise if the exodus doesn’t last. I realize this disappearance will likely be short-lived. Although i need a long time away…

My writing and painting is my essence, now packed in boxes. It is confusing to be wrapped in paper instead of leaving my thoughts upon the blank silence of white.

Confusion is driving me over the edge with no place to find respite. I need to renew my faith. My hope has dwindled. My humanity has been charred. Tomorrow i leave for Boston to find that needed place called home.

I love you. Thank you for being loyal bloggers. I hope you will be there when i am back in the swing of blogs. Right now I can’t keep track of me enmeshed in this business of posting and waiting to hear what the critics think.

I rely too heavily on the social likes. I need to be content with me without relying on you to feed me worms. I need to find my wings. As a bird or a butterfly i am unsure. I will gladly accept either persona.

I know i am not the rock star some other writers and photographers and painters are and i am perfectly happy to be me. I accept myself as is but i believe with breathing room i can emerge from this self-induced cocoon and become greater.

A writing mentor told me blogging is good until you get hung up in the business of blogging. I am there and have been there a few years.

Lost.

So off i go…

oh! For those who are connected with me in other ways, please keep in touch! I will need your support. Thank you! And if you want to keep connected, and do not have a way to contact me, leave me a message below. I will reach out to you.

Be well. All the best, Jβ€οΈπŸ•ŠπŸ˜˜

Three days. Three motivations. Day 3.

This is my final post in response to A Guy Called Bloke and if you follow the above link, you will receive double motivation. πŸ˜‰βœŒπŸΌ

Ok. So, I am sitting at Hash Imports, waiting for my Jag. The garage door bit off a chunk of the trunk (aka boot for Englanders) and the damaged plith is being put back on the car’s booty!!! Hurrah πŸ˜„! They tell me it should take an hour. (Long story how this happened which i am not going to explain.)

Regarding English and its many forms, and reasons why it is difficult to learn, even for English-born speakers, here is a handy How to Understand English Words. Since i will be moving to Boston soon, this The Wicked Good Guide to Boston English or Ten Words to Know in Boston will come in handy for other reasons. BTW I love me some chowdah. Which i made over the weekend with Lake Erie caught walleye. So yum πŸ˜‹!

Since i will be walking, biking or taking public transport in Boston, what will happen to my Jag? Hurt feelings much? But that’s what the country side is for… motoring in my Jag to the ocean and mountain vistas!!! Cannot wait. 😝 β›° 🌊

–Confucius

And this…

because of this ❀️✌🏼🎢🎢🎢 J

Three days. Three motivations. Day 2.

A Guy called Bloke nominated me to share my motivations and I happily oblige, feeling motivated to share my inner thoughts. Why not? πŸ˜œπŸ’•βœŒπŸΌ

Glad you bother to read my posts at all! What, with all your responsibilities, who am i to take up your time?

This is the path unfolding before me. A red carpet spread to the ends of the earth, piled high with rocks and sand and twigs and leaves. Accompanied by the fragrance of flowers and promise of new Days. While Nights wander aimlessly toward silence and i reside peacefully as billions of stars awaken.

Oh! This too! Or better yet, make some of your own art! Grab a brush, paint, and go! 🎨 β˜”οΈπŸŒ΅πŸŒΌπŸ„πŸπŸ‚πŸΎ JπŸ•ŠπŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽΆ

Three days. Three motivations. Day 1.

Introducing A Guy Called Bloke’s newest poem… and I kindly thank Rory, the guy or the bloke behind the words penned so swell, for nominating me to share some motivation for the next three days. Aka, the hum in my drum can become your purr with a considering stir.

I am happy to oblige Sir Rory. But i am not responsible for any side affects my words may have upon my readers. So my advice: Read responsibly.

i am motivated knowing other people get it. it being me. and me not showing fear but courage. today i exist deeply. i am the silence.

I nominate any blogger, who has time and courage, to participate.

My Monhegan

I am currently working on a painting My Monhegan, an island off the coast of Maine. Monhegan is a place that encompasses 95% of my spiritual thought while a mere 3 days and 2 nights were physically spent there. It amazes how much an impact the place had on me. A healing calm took me over and i only have to slip on those hiking shoes to feel the embrace around my soul.

At least the ones i have conquered.

In the meantime, while rushing from one idea to the next, for the past three days, i realized something important. I don’t hear the rattling noises in my mind. At least not as often as i use to and only when invited in. The loudness has abated with a new found courage. I have tamed the angry heart that broke and mended the fabric tears. The tears in my eyes have dried.

The scared child that cowered in the corner has found light. She has grown since last spoken to. The sex fiend has retreated and allowed a wholeness to take place. I convinced her sex is nothing compared to spiritual ecstasy. A spiritual relationship, with someone who can read my mind and play off my every mood, move and energy, is enticing. I have a few girlfriends like this. I have yet to make a pact with such a guy friend. I have a few in mind, but they don’t seem to understand the concept as i had envisioned they would. Such a collaboration is still open to anyone. Even long distance. I am open and my heart twirls in excitement to find such a guy. If such a person exists. 🀨

As if a light switch was flicked on and off, on and off, the hurt, which once overcame me, has now been overcome. The chaos inside has relented and been subdued.

I win! I won!
I run! I swim!
I fly away…

What’s Your Favorite? (reblog)

What’s Your Favorite
β€” Read on #WYF Revenge of EveColor. A favorite color.

I increasingly notice shades and hues now that I started dabbling in paint. Even as a photographer, i was not in tune with the varying light and dark of the world, as now. I am at a peak heightened state to my existence and have never felt so alive, or as noticing of each small death, as today.

So what is my favorite color? I have asked a few people that and they choose calming colors, as i once did. At the conception of my son, an orange ball of hope swelled inside and burst onto the scene of the world at his birth. He was close to being born at the back of a NYC taxi cab and made his appearance at the hospital before the doctor arrived. Life has not had to wait for him since… he forges his own paths in all circumstances.

The color orange in life is energizing. So appropriate that my color has changed as i was asleep for so long. I am eternally grateful for the sun and the birth of my son. For the vibrancy and hope they bring to my life.

In all circumstances, Luke has been my rock. When my world trembled in 2008 it was no different. He tirelessly carried me when my legs broke from under the weight of grief.

He is every mom’s hope to have in a son. He is my sunrise and sunset and all that exists in between. He is orange.

He is currently studying for his Ph.D. in Material Science, focusing on batteries at The Ohio State, Columbus, OH. Environmentally conscious, his goal is to develop stable eco-sources of power. He rocks my world and i hope he can bring his dreams to fruition.

And as a mom, what ever girl finds herself in the gleam of his eye, please realize even the stars adore your beauty and grace. πŸŒŽπŸŒπŸŒβ˜€οΈ

Happy Writing, J (i have always wanted to write a fitting tribute and he is so deserving of accolades, being as humble as he is. πŸ’™πŸ•ŠπŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽΆ)