do you not want me
writing, hoping
-trying to understand? it is
all there. I see it.
you cannot make it
happen, but sometimes
you do.

trying, flopping
-calming the storm, but
the flames spark
wildfires.  it does not
matter who I am,
just know it is chaos
and your never found.

10/7/2017 jems

I much
like being confined
to words,
define the keys
and release me.

walk this dangerous place
called truth,
we remain confused.

10/7/2017  jems

(10/2/2017 diary entry.   I much like being confined to the words that define but so be it if the keys release me to a strange and dangerous place.  I may rebel!  Regardless the truth, I remain confused.)

sky blue impregnates
a bird trill of broken glass
the trout lily bursts

rise the cliffs of forest floor

the love sick man dies
heaven’s friends gather around
shade the moon respects

bowl, stem and open foot path

shattered light falls fast
generations understand
walked these ancient paths


What have you been up to?

I thought no one would ever ask.

“Oh, you didn’t ask.” Sigh. “Regardless, I will tell you.  I need to talk to someone, stuck in my thoughts all night, in dreams and visions.”

Every mountain is scaled one step at a time.  Santa Fe 2017
The past 9 years have been a struggle.  I have wrestled with who I am.  Pondering the why questions we all ask and struggle to understand

Dying. Is that what we have been doing? All these things piling on top of us, burdens to carry, burying us alive.

Screaming.  Albeit silent screams.

What if I take this cloak off and try on a new cape? I am not sure I know which one to wear today, but one thing rings true, I must learn to fly.  I must.  I must be someone’s hero today.  So must you.


Truth is truth
shrouded in words,
to yearn
and empty self.

Let’s run,
hide in my heart.
Then leap,
find joy in our peace.

If books
were countless days,
we’d vanish
lost in captured hands.

Let’s hide,
be willing to speak.
Then play,
and follow their lead.