My mind worries about everything. For instance, I contemplated if I should allow comments or turn them off on my blog. I don’t get many, so that is not the problem. The problem is coming across the right way in my answers. Please don’t get me wrong whatever I decide. I will only worry more.
Then, I worry about food. My mother was very overweight and I was deathly afraid of ever having to be seen. So I refused food until I became a mother. Then I ate as if I never tasted spaghetti or tuna or chocolate chip cookies before. And I still have a propensity to over eat. I love the taste of food and I am a pretty damn good cook. Just wish I never had seen a plate, fork and knife. I am doomed.
And the last thing on my mind this morning is a dear friend who sent a note. Should I write back or wait a while? I once confessed a growing love while guilt tripped me up. The feelings were built over tides and shifting sand. I never intended to devour the sour or sweet. Meanwhile, insecurities continue to flourish under the bridge to cause more angst. Oh! to speak out loud, these morning thoughts, chases the sun away. I should go play under the clouds and worry alone.
Sometimes life expects us to make confessionals. My list happens to be growing as I recollect events that I am sorry for. For instance, in the midst of my grief, shortly after learning my brother John had taken his life, I stole a plant. A flowering plant at a local grocery store. The reasoning being I had always walked the straight and narrow and while my anger was bubbling up, I lashed out in order to inflict hurt on the world I once loved. I struck back at the heart of existence.
This is the sun setting over the huge rock in my yard. Hell, the rock is a small hill you have to climb and there is a perfect practice 20-25′ (7.6 meter) straight ascent to the top. The other side has ledges and you can scale it without rope. It is rather easy, with wonderful pockets of moss and mushrooms and wildflowers. Once at the top, you can watch the sunset over Mount Wachusett.
The mountains in Massachusetts are fairly easy to scale. Ive climbed two so far. Mount Wachusett is 2005′ (611 meters) and Lenox Mountain 2,126′ (648 meters).
To carve in stone
the next year planned
hike the Appalachian
Berkshires of Massachusetts
exists deep in the psyche
find my impetous
climb higher than ever
the answers lie somewhere.
Please read to the end, even if you are not in the mood to be cheery!!!! I truly care for you…
🌟 Possibilities exist in every shiny thought.
Never allow yourself to be squared in to a corner without a circle. Be adVenturous! Find a star and start running.
Even if it takes a lifetime to catch your star, realize you will have lived a full life chasing it.
Don’t pay attention to your neighbor’s faults. Work on your own. Once you realize no one is perfect, you will find inner peace exists.
Turn the other cheek. Forgive. Love. Move on. If your enemies follow you, hooray. And if they disappear, too bad they missed out living life along with you. Hopefully, and i sincerely mean this, i pray everyone can discover and name their own star to chase.
Just never stop chasing your star once you find and name it! 🌟 J
(I do not write this lightly. I have been depressed and suicidal. It has taken 50 years to reach my pinnacle. I have swam through snake infested waters, mosquito-riddled forests and felt unloved by the very people who should have helped me in life. I get the pessimist. I was one. Life seems to be turning for the good and i rejoice that i endured and can speak hope today. If you turn from this post because your hurting, reach out. There are people who care! I pray you find your star!)