Steff: Andie, you’re a bitch. (From “Pretty in Pink”)Bitchin’
and only now,
after all this time
how the other half of the world
Do I remember what it was like at the peak of my depression? Or my inability to leave the house ravished by anxiety? Barely. How fitting to turn half a century (March) and be over the suicide ideation battle. I think i won. I think.
Nobody ever promises a rose garden. But i do remember to smell the blossoms while bloomed. Grateful for my loving children…
Dogwood have no fragrance and adequately make up for the loss with an exuberant blanket of petals, stitched together to create a covering for hearts, souls and minds. Enjoy your bitchin’ Mother’s Day, the best way you can!!
Now that I am in a new locale, I can hardly wait to share Boston doors -another door paradise!
When one door shuts, another opens. I have found this to be true. Except I am waiting for the last door opened, to shut! Please, someone buy our house in Indiana! I am begging the gods or God or Karma or even the boogey man at this point! One, because i am looking to buy a new house and nothing can happen until our old house has vanished from my mind! Yes, i am never too proud to beg! Two, i am becoming superstitious and paranoid.
Would love to open this house’s front door and settle my heart “in”doors! The rain is messing up my hair and attitude and the sun is burning my soul. Real estate hell is real!
Random building. Random Street. North End Boston. 4/28/2018
Found out the name of one of the widest cable-stayed bridges in the world: Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge. There will be plenty of photos of this bridge to come. It is stunning!! (No rain today 4/28/2018.)
Sigh. We finally made it to Boston! Well, on Wednesday we did.
I have been wakened from a deep slumber. It may have been a slow emerging but the move was not a gentle stirring. My life as i knew it has drastically shifted. I believe for the better.
While it seriously has been difficult to write I am content. The amount of pictures taken, sights heard and tasted, the feel of a place to call home, albeit only three months, is pure satisfaction.
I do miss my desk. Time spent alone. Next week will afford such space. Along with a chance to walk, pick up bus and T schedules, test out transportation options and go into Boston. Alone.
We took a drive yesterday to South Boston. Visited the Atlantic. Walked our Prince Louie! I tasted another bowl of New England Chowder. My first dive into tasting since moving here. On previous visits to Boston it was my goal to sample every restaurant’s chowder. Now I practically am in heaven with at least a monthly visit somewhere, to sample another bowl of creamy, buttery deliciousness.
Since we will only be at this location until the end of July, the majority of boxes were put in storage. I was met with quite a let down when i found out my paints, books and journals were placed on the wrong truck. What will i do until August?
I decided to bullet journal during these three lonely months and have been scavenging Pinterest for ideas. There are some mighty journalers out there. And a few on Instagram i follow. My Amazon package arrives Sunday and i can hardly wait to start doodling pages.
Today, an adventure awaits. A pizza tour of the North End. Our oldest daughter, who has lived in Boston five years, will join us to sample Boston’s Little Italy flavors with a few historic stops to hear stories of famous places and people who made Boston possible.
View of Boston from Castle Island in the Boston Harbor. It was quite the dreary day.
Also I feel that being a teenager… Sometimes adults don’t think that we are mature enough to GET somethings. Sometimes adults think that are opinions and ideas are stupid or unreasonable just because we are younger then them. But what they don’t remember from their teenage years is that being a teenager is HARD. And yeah, we make mistakes, who doesn’t? But we still have opinions and thoughts in our brains that we need to let out. Blogging is such a good way to let it all out.
Evie is a recent follower of mine and I sincerely find it an honor that a teenager is interested and finds my blog engaging. She read a post of mine that resonated with her thoughts and life. The particular hopeful and tragic post she read was a heartfelt memory of my teenage years. Hopeful, being as old as I am, 49 for anyone who cares to know, of finding a snippet of peace, a peace that comes and goes, enough to carry me through. Tragic, because if someone resonates with the hurt encountered, I am saddened. Truly. So I share her thoughts above and encouraged she has found her voice.
As I follow her blog I know I will be fascinated. I am concerned some of my posts may not be appropriate for younger readers and hope I am a good example. God bless!
Now on to the future of poetry. During a recent visit to Cambridge, MA, I dug up a small gem of a bookstore at 6 Plympton Street, only 440 sq ft of space, facing the possibility of closing their doors. I had to stop in and check out the solely shelved poetry shop. I found three books, Becoming a Poet: Elizabeth Bishop with Marianne Moore and Robert Lowell, David Kalstone, The Passion of Emily Dickinson, Judith Farr and Wild and Whirling Words: A poetic conversation; moderated by H.L. Hix. Can you imagine my excitement? The proprietor is Professor Ifeanyi Menkiti, a Nigerian poet who teaches philosophy at Wellesly College.
While I browsed the shelves, I overheard the bookstore manager talking with a communications director at NPR, looking for publicity for their Go Fund Me page. I mentioned the conversation to her and asked for a link, explaining I would post on my humble blog. So here it is Grolier Legacy Fund if you feel inclined to contribute to the future of poetry in America.
I also stopped in Boston’s famed Brattle Book Store. I could not help myself and bought three more books, knowing I had to lug them home in my luggage and face scorn. I knew I would need to weed out 9 other books in my library to make space, since I have been told “No more bookshelves”, three of the most hateful words to a book lover. I know, brave. (Although I admit I need to organize myself as I look at the whirlwind that hits my writing room daily.) I bought Dickinson: Strategies of limitation, Jane Donahue Eberwein; Marianne Moore: Selected Letters, Bonnie Costello, ed.; and unfortunately a duplicate of The Passion of Emily Dickinson, Judith Farr. That is a sure sign I am getting old.
I love how they set their used sale books out in the open air and look at that mural.
Happy reading and writing and enjoying life. I wish you all the best, always. J
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body
but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One
who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28
It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. Hebrews 10:31
See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful,
unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. Hebrews 3:12
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy,
which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces
of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8
How much more, then, will the blood of Christ,
who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself
unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from
acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! Hebrews 9:14
Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling,
fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest. Hebrews 3:1
Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Matthew 16:16
To all those in Boston and around the world, who are rocked by yet another act of terrorism…
may you be comforted by the prayers that are being lifted to God.
John 14:16 And I will ask the Father,
and He will give you another advocate to help you
and be with you forever–
John 14:26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit,
whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.