untitled 

This path has become hell.

Time,
you’ve done wrong
-Courage fights on.

A liberating, standing kind of courage,
the fire births -her heart
where nothing is held hostage
like blight of mind.

Crouching in the corner,
her eyes tell all
-Courage fights on.

Life proposes, sand washes
to cover her feet
seed weed dancing to her thoughts
caught by paper clips -staples.

Yet this time,
yes, this time
-Courage fights on.

Burned and banned

words are tools to paint the heart;
screams swallow the mind

Peering through
the crack in the door and the hole in the wall,
pacing the smoke-filled room,
tripping over clawing hands,
fearing…

the words found
bound in your grave
a herectic they shouted -loud!

Jumping in glee
the monsters choke -life
a turn about,
the mirror speaks
the voices ever nearer,
as noticeable today
as yesterday,
to find your self alone.

capsized

Seek knowledge of multiple aspects in life; relationships are complicated.
img_6212-2
Capsized. Off coast of Monhegan Island, ME May 2016

I feel a need
explain myself, hoping misconceptions
do not blur the mirror between our faces.
Our breath fogging up the air.

Waves are what you believe.
Rowing towards another
smooth sailing desired
frantically head towards the shore.

Prepare for the storm
learn navigation, obstacles overcome
hide in the corner, drowning all senses
to trust or mistrust.

Cheating ourselves of courage
of what could be
love atop a mountain view
or mourning under sea.

Ocean rowing is very much what you make it. Rowing technique is pretty irrelevant on the ocean. It’s the psychology that’s important.   –Roz Savage

A child capsized before they realize they have wings, a poor prognosis to rise above. Faulty  attachment leads to mistrust. See the hollow eyes looking back at you? What to do?

There are approximately 500,000 children in the United States in foster care. How else could a heart be broken? Children sinking in a great fissure of happiness and despair. There is hope. A nugget of faith to embrace. A chance to grasp what knowledge gives a person to soar above the noise and reach a point of need. A life purpose I sail towards, navigating bumps and bruises, of my own, as I witness sadness beyond the horizons. Yet I keep believing.  One child saved is worth my life. One smile worth more than gold and gems.

In a sense I travel the confines of another mind. That can freak people out. Who dare look within? I blame no one. I avoided it but now I am grateful to that person who listened. No matter how pathetic I sounded, he rode the waves out. I imagine I put fear into his mind. The multiple thoughts of suicide; knives, ropes and pills. It would cause anyone panic. Towards the end, I thanked him profusely. The mending of multiple people inside that realized only the one who could mentally handle what happened. Essentially sparing others the need to fathom the horror.
I know this all sounds crazy. I feel crazy some days. Especially when I become so open to others I barely know. In a sense hiding behind this screen. Fleeing when I have had enough. I know that as long as the words remain within and I have yet to let them go I will continue to post (warning some posts will be dark and understand if you unfollow) and read and chug along this funny thing called “life”. Ahhhh, then to understand death. Not sure I have enough time to go that far. Be well.

Thanks for reading. Happy to be a Word Press blogger. Enjoying  my time. And all that.  –Jeanne