barely

Steff: Andie, you’re a bitch. (From “Pretty in Pink”)Bitchin’

Now
and only now,

after all this time

I
understand
how the other half of the world

lives.

Do I remember what it was like at the peak of my depression? Or my inability to leave the house ravished by anxiety? Barely. How fitting to turn half a century (March) and be over the suicide ideation battle. I think i won. I think.

Nobody ever promises a rose garden. But i do remember to smell the blossoms while bloomed. Grateful for my loving children…

Dogwood have no fragrance and adequately make up for the loss with an exuberant blanket of petals, stitched together to create a covering for hearts, souls and minds. Enjoy your bitchin’ Mother’s Day, the best way you can!!

Love, j 💗

My Monhegan

*

Oh! to find relaxation. Get lost amidst the Monhegan sea air.

I once honored the rapt attention of the island’s evening. Witnessed the homeward gulls, floating above. Shhhh! i warned them. I desired the whispered stories unfolding below the ocean waves.

I witnessed their goodbyes descend upon my eyes. Their limelight emitted farewell and invited the lesser stars to partake in the feast. Satisfied, i bid farewell, in hopes my soul would once again return.

*The finished painting from a previous post.

A Face in the Crowd

Weekly Photo Challenge

Another person doing his thankless job and keeping all safe on the slick Chicago streets. This post is for those who do their job, not knowing who is noticing their hard work, “Thank you!”

Ascend (a photo challenge)

Ascend

I would love to know what squirrels think, when they see a person walk by, who suddenly stops when they hear their chatter above; stop, dig, reach in, snap, stare and stare and stare. Move along… For any length of time, no doubt, that squirrel is surveying an escape route. But you must question why the squirrel said anything to begin with, if he did not want company?

Not to worry, I did not ascend that tree.

With much gratitude

This is truly a heartfelt post. Why? You!!!

I never could have imagined sitting here nine years ago. I could barely talk. Was I saying any thing? Perhaps in my eyes you would have seen the pain. I welcomed death. I contemplated suicide.

After a year of therapy, my confidante encouraged me to reach out. I wrote everything in prose, and poetry to him, and so I thought, why not gather my thoughts and start a blog. It is anonymous after all. (Hahaha. That was not quite his idea of reaching out.)

Hahaha…this! (I may have posted elsewhere, a picture of myself?)

Regardless, I have changed from those once fateful days. I graduate with highest honors, a 3.96 gpa. I walk on December 16 and will be with my husband, two of my children, and countless bloggers who have seen me through. Whether you know it or not, you do now. I will be thinking of you. And my therapist. Forever grateful! 🤗❤️

I hope to continue my blog. I have become fascinated with the arts. I have traveled alone. Taken two poetry workshops with incredible poets. I have become. And when those brief moments appear, and I slip, dancing with death, I fight as all my might will muster. And write a poem. Or paint a picture. Or visit an art museum. Etc. Etc.

Monday

It’s Monday.
Good and evil, heat and cold,
hungry and fed, naked and clothed.
Some are blessed, others damned.

Keep innocence,
tucked away for difficult times.
Tap into that energy to survive defeat.

Monday arrives and goes around.
Look up and breathe.
Forget, reconcile and face tomorrow.
Surpass and let smiles outweigh frowns.

Around the curve

The sun is new each day.
Heraclitus

Smiles

Children smile

at everything.

They bounce back
ready to tackle a new day.

I too smile

at today.

I hope the day
will smile back.  That is faith.

happiness

Rainbows are not frowns,
it is that we are upside down!
Our thoughts are topsy
turvy
from the blanketing rain,
covering our head with shields
of cloth, to ward off the drain.

So why, rainbow, must you be
so unhappy? I smile at you!

 

Happy writing,
jeannelizabeth©