What doors do you require to walk through, to understand yourself? Your neighbor’s door? Your back door? A stranger’s door?
Jesus said, ‘I am the door’ (John 10:7) in order to make it clear that no one can come to the Father except through Him.
The church
of and for
and is
the people.
I am ill.
My heart is broken
in need of deep repair
and I wept at the sign
hung around my neck
that read “tired soul”.
Worcester MA has many beautiful church buildings. These church doors were closed so no inside photos. So why do churches lock their doors? Why do we feel it is okay to criticize these doors being locked versus locking our home’s doors? And to be fair, they posted a sign to try the doors on a side street. So when did I stop knocking?
a path of voices retrieve the warm clues scattered your time approaches
I have never stayed with one theme on my blog for very long. This is my third consecutive week to post a “Week in Review: B&W”. Progress? Calm in my chaos? If nothing else, a personal record! 🙂
A week in review. A visit to Tower Hills Botanical Garden in West Boylston MA is always a treat. Especially when a greenhouse orchid show helps me resist a chilly Sunday afternoon.
The stack of books pictured are half of what I will be reading during Expressive Arts training. Natalie Rogers, daughter of Carl Rogers, is a big proponent of various art modalities as healer. I plan to spend my remaining time helping others find their voice in paint, dance, words and song.
It feels good to have a purpose. I find we all need to heal generational trauma. Whether abused or the abusers, we must stand still and look towards the sun. A new day dawns. Hope rises.
And ten years blogging? Wow! And it has been 12 years since my brother left earth. This blogging journey will go on until I too am released from gravity. 🕊
Looking ahead. I feel myself changing. It has certainly been a while since I have revamped my image. “Borderline Crossing” will reemerge as something new in the future. Even I will be surprised as to what becomes of this journey.
Doyou wanna be an angel Do you wanna be a star Do you wanna play some magic on my guitar Do you wanna be a poet Do you wanna be my string You could be anything
Do you wanna be the lover of another Undercover you could even be the man on the moon
Do you wanna be the player Do you wanna be the string Let me tell you something It just don’t mean a thing
You see it really doesn’t matter When you’re buried in disguise By the dark glass on your eyes Though your flesh has crystallised
Still… you turn me on Still… you turn me on Mmmm… you turn me on
Do you wanna be the pillow where I lay my head Do you wanna be the feathers lying in my bed Do you wanna be the cover of a magazine Create a scene
Every day a little sadder A little madder Someone get me a ladder
Do you wanna be the singer Do you wanna be the song Let me tell you something You just couldn’t be more wrong
You see I really have to tell you That it all gets so intense From my experience It just doesn’t seem to make sense
Still… you turn me on Mmmm… you turn me on, yeah Mmmm… you turn me on.
(A picture of me as Pippi Longstocking exists. Somewhere. or Perhaps it is lost forever, thus really nonexistent. The memory carries on.)
Im a little bit everything
and all over the place,
mail in my purse
that hasn’t been sent
a list of to-do’s
certainly not to be spent
a knot in my hair from ’72
when mother gave up on my hairdo!
So incredibly complicated
with every new day
I am grateful I have nothing much more to say.
So, look at my face
realize this once
I have feelings, gosh darn it
so play with me nice!
I am asking 2020 be my year
to learn and love
dance and play as my heart needs
the score complete
as Mr Gull flies by
and in his pursuit
he finds I suit his curiosity.
So, off I go, to dream,
to see,
what my imagination, Mr Gull and I can scheme!
Ever so alone in the world
you wail
years into days,
days on end a blur.
Time to dig the earth
find the roots of torment
as people weave within,
rattle my soul.
How does one understand truth? Truth was set in stone long ago. The greatest of commands, to love. Peace of mind blooms with watered intentions of serving others. Do not murder. Do not plant false lies. Do not appear as love with malice for others in your heart. Find your sixth sense and do not be fooled easily.
Often when we are hurt, our initial reaction is retaliation. The anger burns hot inside. Emotional self-discipline circumvents such reactions. I consider myself in-training. To find strength a cure.
Being honest but peaceful and forgiving paves a long road home with hope. Sometimes walking away, when possible, is best. Remembering to breathe.
Disclaimer: This post is from three weeks ago. Whether i agree or disagree with these thoughts today or tomorrow… well, they happened. And i write them down, for good or bad. My words and I, we belong to each other, united in this marriage for the long haul. Good luck to me… right?
I know i am nothing to you. I am nothing and nobody… simply a body with breath that speaks timidly.
And i wonder, in my mind, why. Why i dont turn… run.
Run from this insanity. You could never know how pained it is to write, when writing pains me so. My mom insisted “Be a writer.” I can’t write. I object. Writing is a prison and my heart desires freedom. To dance.
I am a dancer. As i swim deeper, the ink sashays across the paper. A pirouette for me!
A vision of a knife carving in ice, the motions of my mind, drawn. Images to blind.
I Bleed. I retreat. I refuse.
I kick and scream… demand the cage door open.
Is death the only way out?
Death to potent dreams has already strangled this blood from flowing to the ocean floor… where darkness, lit by sun, is a home for all i cant speak. Or write. Or be.
So why tell you? I know i cant and so it soothes. Id run if you obliged.
And this, all a dream. A dream that stares from every corner. Mocks me religiously. And maybe
Popping on to WP… to say HI! And to give everyone who follows my blog an update as to what I HOPE happens in 2019.
First, and foremost, I have missed all of you lovely poets, artists and dreamers… HOPE you are well and busy as my world has been quite busy too. Beyond moving to a new town and making friendships, selling and buying a new house and making it my home, and living on the East Coast and acquiring a love of my new lifestyle, I am embarking on quite a creative 2019.
‘Night Blooms’
My newest interest is felting wool roving into landscapes… taken from my photographs of an enchanting New England.
‘Forest’, ‘Mount Wachusett’, ‘Yellow Wood’
The ‘Yellow Wood’ piece is not quite complete as i am awaiting Highlighter Yellow wool roving. These pieces are smaller… generally 4×6.
My piano lessons are going well. I am tapping away and happy to announce i will be able to play simple versions of ‘White Christmas’ and ‘Jingle Bells’ at holiday celebrations. My Christmas cards are written and mailed. I enjoy the daily stroll to our post office in historic Still River. The building is not manned but does house mailing supplies and is a convenient drop-off point for stamped parcels. It is a beautiful landscape and well preserved for generations and those to come.
We had one snow fall in November, which unfortunately has melted. I was able to capture the beauty for memories and inspiration.
I bought an Underwood office typewriter in HOPES i could produce unique and one-of-kind poetry chapbooks for my favorite poets. The typewriter, turns out, is in need of extensive repairs and i am waiting to hear the prognosis. I HOPE to hear good news soon. It was my intention, after all, to create beautiful chapbooks for the poetic souls who capture my imagination daily. If all goes as originally planned… i will be setting up a section on this blog to sell those books, along with my felted landscapes, and perhaps expand to sell mine and other people’s paintings. Stay tuned!!!
And, if you have read to this point, without losing interest… i am most excited to announce i have embarked on a six-month writing adventure with a published poet who is quite extraordinary in his writing: Nicolas Samaras.
I am equally intimidated by his word prowess. My goal is not necessarily to be published … i am much too shy to have the world seeing my thoughts on paper. But i took the bullet that has been wanting to pierce my skin and watch me bleed… i take hold my stained paper and profess to be ready! The funny thing is i have been plugging away at this blog for eons… most of what is on here is complete gibberish… I believe it is time to shine the apple.
Get ready for an all new Jeanne on WP in 2019. And you? What are your goals for 2019?
A piano came with the house. And I sat down with wonder. How does one play a song? Through arched fingers i pound, as elegantly as possible. Or as angrily as appropriate. The sound reverberates around. Or did it begin, start within, to flow through my veins? And perch a tune on fingertips?
Yes! piano lessons, teach me. Release me from this body. As a critic, shed my skin. Please, come bow with me in the end.
(Lessons are going well. Six lessons in and I can play simplified versions of Camptown Races, Yankee Doodle and Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I will spare you the torture. I am enjoying this experience though!)
i am spending a significant portion of my morning on social media because, well, i have been stimulated. Which basically means my brain is cooking up ideas and piling up future projects, while a myriad of unfinished projects patiently weep… waiting for me.
“Off on another excursion, yet again! Are you?” my conscious is seething.
I found a new place to contemplate, meditate, evaluate and prescribe healing into my life. Isn’t it breathtakingly beautiful?
Here is my latest blast from my soul…
Learn to take the heart ache and make love soar… not for fame or fortune. Rather, love is more precious than gold. It mends differences and brings the world a peace unlike any other emotion.
Even those who purport not to have sold their soul have become slaves. Wisdom rarely prevails and minds change with every wind direction.
