unknown and known

Sunday morning reading. A new nature of heart, soul and mind.

Counting the twinkling stars
sometimes minute by minute
blue sky bedding down
blood red sea drowns

True story. When my brother passed from here I wondered where he was. Not at the moment, feeling only cold and distant from where I was. Miles away, in time, I took to understand man, his fascination with death and life and all that exists in between. Why should a man yearn to leave love, feeling only despair?

Traveling a country road, my daughter at the wheel, unable to see through tears, I lifted my being. It was a curve in the road where one could see far into the distance. I saw and heard a voice, a voice traveling through space, a bright yellow, red and orange, and he said clearly “Do not worry. I am okay.” My heart rested a moment.

Today I wrestle with questions. I fear unanswerable. What holds me is faith in my countenance. A belief in visions and dreams.

C.S. Lewis Reflections on the Psalms, discusses Psalms of death. Knowing death is of everyone’s concern. Death. And then we must consider life. Life.

Death and life,
life and death.
Heaven and hell
or only earth.

“Most of us find that our belief in the future life is strong only when God is in the center of our thoughts; that if we try to use the hope of ‘Heaven’ as a compensation it crumbles away. …maintained only by arduous efforts of controlled imagination; and we know in our hearts that the imagination is our own.”

Dance of life
let me be
quiet for moments
catch my breath
and love my hope to be.