Coming into my own.

My own space. Mostly in my head. Yet, I stretch my arms up and out.

Fear diminishes. Courage sets in and becomes comfortable. Silence.

An awakening. Your idea of me no longer digs into my heart.

The match you hold hangs over my head. I close my eyes. Pray instead.

In Desperation

In a desperate attempt to find myself, I appear a mess. And that mess includes a home full of rooms and a collections of things. Ideas endlessly scattered. Everywhere.

So where have I been? Trying to find me. Editing my physical, emotional and spiritual self. I still haven’t quite found what I was hoping to find. I am getting close.

And if you haven’t noticed, I started another blog. An attempt to organize my thoughts. Am I successful? I certainly cannot see myself clearly. I avoid mirrors out of fear I won’t like the response.

But always I make my way back to writing. Still scratching the dust on the road.

My Promise Garden

Finding strength
in the oaks and white pines, bird song and Spring Peepers.
On dragonfly wings
I glide among all things.

As the Monarch rises, I am magic in ordinary occasions.

The sunrise and sunset
the morning dew and evening showers.
Bring me a path unseen
I will walk among the flowers.

Barriers

Ever so alone in the world
you wail
years into days,
days on end a blur.

Time to dig the earth
find the roots of torment
as people weave within,
rattle my soul.

How does one understand truth? Truth was set in stone long ago. The greatest of commands, to love. Peace of mind blooms with watered intentions of serving others. Do not murder. Do not plant false lies. Do not appear as love with malice for others in your heart. Find your sixth sense and do not be fooled easily.

Often when we are hurt, our initial reaction is retaliation. The anger burns hot inside. Emotional self-discipline circumvents such reactions. I consider myself in-training. To find strength a cure.

Being honest but peaceful and forgiving paves a long road home with hope. Sometimes walking away, when possible, is best. Remembering to breathe.

Courage to exit and enter the world.

Hey peoples!!!

I have missed this place. I have missed you.

So what has been going on? So much!!! Sitting under a poetry mentor. Restructuring old poetry and finding myself. Taking piano lessons. Working on Mozart and Tchaikovsky pieces.

I start a new volunteer position in a women’s homeless shelter directing an art therapy group in mid-June. After i take a solo travel trip to Nantucket.

The daily weather is cooperating so tending to my new garden in Harvard Massachusetts. It has been almost a year that we moved to the Boston area. Busy picking up sticks winter strewn about the yard and wondering where to station a summer writing cabin. The best of my days are spent sitting atop prospect hill, watching the sunsets.

I hope to be able to spend more time here at WP. I do hope.

😘❤️🐚 jeanne

Found in the Lost Pile of Civility

The year 2018 is locked away. The key, fiery hot, so as not to entice people to hold on. Look back.

I look forward to 2019. My prayer focuses on the war of words, which has reached a feverish pitch. I honestly hope people’s superiority complexes does not burn down houses; leave room to erect new powers and diminish freedoms.

I smell the fires burning and there is little relief. In our condemnation, humanity in one fell swoop, dresses outlandish lies with mixed-up truths.

Only the tree is honest.

Seems to me
as we slowly decline,
we beat around the bush,
contemplate how to survive.
Generations realize this drift,
on a sail-less boat,
the cloth wrapped around our bleeding hearts,
words confessed on bended knees,
misses the sliver in private eyes.

Same old, same old story.
The beginning is the end.
The terror in other’s minds now belongs to us.
Realize hungry is, as was,
and nothing eaten ever satisfies.

Measure our words against ourselves
need I stand upon a soapbox,
add my rhetorict to humanity’s misery?
As ash buries the smoldering coals
are we aware we are wandering,
found among the lost pile of civility?

Norm 2.0 Thursday Doors

A door post… Since it has been a while and being the door pictures are backing up my phone memory… i will release a few from my time in Massachusetts… so far!

Bartlett NH storefront. A piece of America’s rural past
Lincoln NH America’s oldest ski shop

Newburyport MA door is closed… open on weekends
Tragic story behind this door… Plum Island Beach MA

Plum Island Beach MA Do Not Enter this door
Conservation Land of Harvard MA

Still River Baptist Church Harvard MA 1832 (founded 1776)
Post Office Hours posted
Boston Fanaueil Hall
Harvard MA
Harvard MA
Harvard MA

Harvard MA Cemetary

Congregational Church of Harvard MA
Mount Wachusett Massachusetts Door to good times…

Boston’s City Hall dressed for the holidays

Waiting to get seated at Joes… Boston

Craving…

All those details in life… begging feedback. I am so unsure of myself. My glasses either need adjusting or my self-esteem could use a boost. Perhaps a week, sunning on Florida sands, lapping up the beams of light, will readjust my outlook.

I wonder, will a halo appear above my head? Or maybe I am forever destined to carry a pitchfork with me, to crumble the ice surrounding my heart.

My thoughts triumphant… they scarcely tell the true story of the conscience. I am not sure i would take the dare to display the rocks tumbling in my stomach. Beauty is fleeting.

I try.

Yesterday taught me a lesson. Simplify. Everything. Until I realize I’ve let go of everything I believed in. Even the mountains crumble. Their majestic prowess is destined to fall. Pride is best kept humble.

So those cravings? I let them go too. To wonder how he is doing, too sacred to know.

covetous

something -draws me in -cool breath -kissed cheek -cant speak -you or me -not gone -not here -vows given and mistakes made -this game -God forgives -i break the chains -torn mind -blame shame -my heart entwined -two masters -damned life -rewind the reel -see the thrill -sit at Your feet -hear Your voice speak -my soul twirl, twirl, twirls.