One more for the road…

Post. Not a drink. But i think i will pour myself a sour cherry bier from Victory Brewing… right after i turn off my phone a while. (I will be back…)

Love this baby picture of me. One of the few where i am properly dressed. My shoes are shined and my hair is brushed. I am smiling and not crying. Happy. I like to believe my childhood was happy. I think it probably was.

There are no memories to recall from this time period. Similar to when i have had one too many beers, rum and cokes or margarita… Probably best i cannot recall anything at all. That way i wake up happy and carefree!!

Stay safe and have a great weekend. Do not drink and drive.

Catch you all later πŸ»β€οΈπŸ•ŠπŸŽΆπŸŽΆ

Knock, Knock…

Norm 2.0 Thursday Doors

What news!! We are making an offer on a house today. And it is absolutely, mind-blowing gorgeous. This rock wall, which Massachusetts is infamously famous, is even more magnificent then this picture depicts. In fact, my heart barely blips on the screen when i look at this photo.

The rock is 20 feet tall and looks west towards Mount Wachusett. There is a perfect view perched atop this mighty fortress. A quick stroll down the road and this…

tangled

where can i find you
the unspoken
hidden deep -you walked away
had i run
would you greet me
beneath gray skies
would crawling convince you
the dirt smudged on knees
tears falling from cliffs
twirling with clouds
we had our fun
the silence -a seismic shift

i held on
grief released
rainbows born

(Thinking of the lost and lonely who choose to hide their face from the sun.)

Second time around

Chewing on Glass has done it again. What? Drug a deeply buried nugget inside me, up to the surface, in order for me to see the light! I am opening up the curtains!!! The difficulty will be to keep them open. I will try to remember nothing (good?) grows in the dark, unwatered and starved. (Thanks to Emotions of Life for giving me/you food for thought regarding good versus bad growth.)

All unbeknownst to Layne, I am grateful he stepped forward and shared this blog post. Today, i will scurry to sit and think and get some where with my brother’s suicide. This memory stuck in neutral needs to be eventually parked in order for me to move forward. What stands in my way? The screeching tires, the rubber worn, the honking ignored, the empty tank, the dirty windshield…

Finally, i may get a few answers. I will need to rake through powerful memories. I cannot be afraid of the truth. And perhaps i will find closure. Perhaps not. I cannot fear to face the sorrow. The truth as raw and ugly as it appears.

The questions remain… What happened? Is it possible to heal? Maybe i will figure this out. Maybe not. But i do hope my faith is restored.