knowing (part four)

you jumped

skipped, hopped over

eight years gone missing

the quiet of forest -misleading

as the twisted twigs show

the contortion of thought

peeled slowly…

you had every reason to believe

the smile, wink and nod of moonlit glow

was your savior unknown.

*my photo

knowing (part two)

collection of private journals -packed away 1/9/2018

journal pages ripped straight from time
time severs the mind
cheap wholesale thoughts -sold to highest bidder
reminders we are products of hard work and perseverance.

who sells the answers cheaper?
i scanned the pages with a qr reader
as if written in hieroglyphics
and everything came back blank

empty promises made to myself
to do this and to do that
a book of Eden
pleasure where the world is lost to me.

then i see it
a post dated May 28, 2001
its been a long time since i wrote
back then i’m planning my garden

dirty seeds -buried
exist in the laundry room
watered and well lit
sprouting hope

all hope lost to time
with your splintered soul lying in same dirt
waiting to be watered
seasonal drought takes hold

everyone is missing from your life
and if you were a prophetess you would have heeded the words heard
“Be ready!”
but you kept moving

knowing nothing attacks the target -flying
opportunities obeyed
and your missed shots left scars
miles long, long gone -no time for healing.

This Rain

Salty tears evaporate kindly,
reappear in stormy clouds,
standing on the pinnacle
screaming at a flight of birds

To hell with it.
I sit,
in the back pew, -space reserved
for lost souls.

I shiver,
grow near
to hold time’s hand,
no friend of mine.

I dig this grave,
stare into the tunnel,
God sees -appears jet black.
i run,

8 years and counting,
every face
jaws protruding,
lemon shot eyes.

*originally written and posted 1/11/2017

i die

a little inside

each day;

i don’t remember

the strength

you talk about,

how i lifted high

the clouds,

revealed the mountain,

sun peaks inside

my mind.

i try

to light the fire

ignite a spark;

i am

too cold,

worn and tired,

an angel banished

to walk this earth

alone

thinking of you

so close

yet starlight years away.

Do i dare

emerge from -shadows,

drink deep

from the well?

Wind clappin’

slappin’ my face

You offer -me

am i real?

a figment

of our imagination?

Wind clappin’

slappin’ my face

Drink deep -crimson

less the world

worn and heavy

rape your soul.

Wind clappin’

slappin’ my face

Save yourself.