Posted in Poetry, Soul Journal

Last year’s purpose (did I succeed?)

Kaliedoscope of Color
Indianapolis Public Library

Change: mindscape fashioned from wind and rain and sun.

My life was once a shattered mess.  Oh, wait! it still is as I work on picking up the pieces and mending my heart and mind.

The year 2017 has found freedom to live outside the box.  Most days I walk along the edge, teetering on the verge of collapse.  I ride out the waves and sink into the deep crevices of my mind.  Still, I rise to witness 2017.

I fulfilled my vision board of 2016 to write on this blog, missing a few days.  I imagined ideas that floated past my eyes and scooped them into a butterfly net.  It was I, I caught.

I took to Santa Fe, a long fulfilled dream, and I will be going back, should I remain brave.

I sat at the beach, sand filling my toes, lazed at the shore and heard her lullaby.

Don’t stop searching.  Peer within.
Be amazed at what you find.
Keep growing.  Jump outside the lines.

Posted in Memoir, Poetry, quotes, Sermons

Sunny day muse

Sunday morning poetry. Church: words spoken to me, shared lovingly with you.
My second chance to shape my faith every Sunday for a year.

I have adopted a practice of mindfully picking positive precepts each morning to set the day’s mood. It is difficult when depression and anxiety hits, always uninvited. An intrusion that brings war. Negative balanced with positive, my tactic.

Four months
the year a quarter over
anxious thoughts
enter my mind.
i found a purpose
i laid it out
will, i pray,
stay the course?

Elusive depression
crawls around the corner
in hunt for vulnerability.
i am no good
in war
even preparation, with smiles
tucked in my back pocket
cannot ward off fate.

Silly, really
this fear.
Memories of days
scare me
when it made no sense
hovering over voices
rising in taunts
my flaws surfacing,

muddy, deep waters.

Hold on!
Don’t let go.
you know the waves
they drown
and the way back
up is never easy.
A lonely road
few understand.

i tell myself find a friend.
Take a walk,
hold their hand,
cry for no reason
other than sadness
dwells deep. If they
their presence stabs
they would never show.

i am sitting here.
A sunny day
ripe and inviting.
Hold on!
Don’t let go
you know the waves
they drown.
The way back is never easy.

The Song of Moses

10 In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, 11 like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft. –Deuteronomy 32:10-11