My Monhegan


Oh! to find relaxation. Get lost amidst the Monhegan sea air.

I once honored the rapt attention of the island’s evening. Witnessed the homeward gulls, floating above. Shhhh! i warned them. I desired the whispered stories unfolding below the ocean waves.

I witnessed their goodbyes descend upon my eyes. Their limelight emitted farewell and invited the lesser stars to partake in the feast. Satisfied, i bid farewell, in hopes my soul would once again return.

*The finished painting from a previous post.

My Monhegan

I am currently working on a painting My Monhegan, an island off the coast of Maine. Monhegan is a place that encompasses 95% of my spiritual thought while a mere 3 days and 2 nights were physically spent there. It amazes how much an impact the place had on me. A healing calm took me over and i only have to slip on those hiking shoes to feel the embrace around my soul.

At least the ones i have conquered.

In the meantime, while rushing from one idea to the next, for the past three days, i realized something important. I don’t hear the rattling noises in my mind. At least not as often as i use to and only when invited in. The loudness has abated with a new found courage. I have tamed the angry heart that broke and mended the fabric tears. The tears in my eyes have dried.

The scared child that cowered in the corner has found light. She has grown since last spoken to. The sex fiend has retreated and allowed a wholeness to take place. I convinced her sex is nothing compared to spiritual ecstasy. A spiritual relationship, with someone who can read my mind and play off my every mood, move and energy, is enticing. I have a few girlfriends like this. I have yet to make a pact with such a guy friend. I have a few in mind, but they don’t seem to understand the concept as i had envisioned they would. Such a collaboration is still open to anyone. Even long distance. I am open and my heart twirls in excitement to find such a guy. If such a person exists. 🤨

As if a light switch was flicked on and off, on and off, the hurt, which once overcame me, has now been overcome. The chaos inside has relented and been subdued.

I win! I won!
I run! I swim!
I fly away…


Being superstitious comes naturally as hopes are dashed when plans are spoken out loud. But I am hoping this opportunity, that remains open until April 5th, might become a real possibility!!

For the next month I will be putting together my proposal to submit for a writer-in-residence position. That’s all i will tell. I do not want to jinx this opportunity. I don’t feel i have a good chance but i still need to try. I will never know if I do not try.

My proposal is based on writing poetry for young adults who struggle with mental health issues and especially suicidal thoughts. The topic of depression, anxiety, psychosis, along with facing an unknown future, will be the collection of poetry i propose to publish.

I am feeling quite good about this. My ability to relate to these young adults will bring memories flooding back. If i can help just one person i will be happy!

So, if you do not see me around… posting or reading, you will know what i am up to. Knowing myself so well, i wont stay away too long. But i must focus on this project.

The proposal is due April 5 and i will know my fate by June 30. Here goes nothing….


Life is simple. Yet it is not. The road map laid before you, is followed and then unexpected rocks, no boulders, bar the way. You push. And push, and push, and push. In due time life moves again. You move with it. You synchronize your heart with the sun and moon and stars.

Chase. This.