do you not want me
writing, hoping
-trying to understand? it is
all there. I see it.
you cannot make it
happen, but sometimes
you do.

trying, flopping
-calming the storm, but
the flames spark
wildfires.  it does not
matter who I am,
just know it is chaos
and your never found.

10/7/2017 jems

I much
like being confined
to words,
define the keys
and release me.

Rebel!
walk this dangerous place
called truth,
regardless
we remain confused.

10/7/2017  jems

(10/2/2017 diary entry.   I much like being confined to the words that define but so be it if the keys release me to a strange and dangerous place.  I may rebel!  Regardless the truth, I remain confused.)

just a little

I have been away so long, I forgot what it was like to wake up daily, excited I had churned some words around in my head.  And until I set the coffee cup down, and wrote them all on paper, and sent them on their way, I forgot what it was like to share this life out loud.

I am just a little sad that I have been away so long.
I am just a little sad I may be away for even longer.
I am just a little sad.

I have two more classes to go before I graduate.  The prospects of searching for a job, being away from my writing desk, even more than I am already away, is frightening.  I am at a loss to think I will eventually leave behind a chair, space void of all thought.  To think I will be alive, without all the people who have found my voice, leaves me just a little confused.  You heard me and listened.  And bothered to let me know you exist too.

And now it becomes just a little bit lost to life.

Fun!

Disue
Have time? Stop by and see her absolutely fantastic posts and I am honored such a fine poet would see a sparkle of hope in my attempts.

So, i will reveal a bit about me, as if i hadnt already spilled enough of my soul. First a diversion. I will be traveling to Santa Fe this Friday. oh!!! i am excited, but the intriguing aspect is the capture of a soul in a picture. The pueblos prohibit photography so i will come back solely with memories. i hope my soul is not imprisoned by my words to come and those to have past.

Lovely Blog Award rules:

  1. Say thank you and provide a link to their blog. See above.
  2. Share 7-15 facts about you.
  3. Nominate blogs that fascinate, which I leave open to individual bloggers as I know several are award free. Instead of figuring you out, if you read me, I read you, so you are in the running. Hope you will plunge in, have FUN and reveal yourself! Or maybe not. 

Facts…

  • I am extremely introverted. I am an INFP personality. If you are not familiar, you can take a quiz at Jung Personality test.
  • I am a fan of Van Gogh, Plath, Jung. All three have inspired me to the end of ages.
  • My first introduction to poetry was Emily. Her simple words evoke meaning and a pleasure ensues. Her lifestyle is one I would choose if I ever face a change in my present life.
  • I run a zoo. No, not a mega, 500 acre zoo. My backyard has housed dogs, cats, bunnies and my house has invited fish, guinea pugs, mice and birds as friends and family. If i had my way i would live on a farm with goats, chickens and sheep along with all the others. (Aka Beatrix Potter.)
  • I have three very successful children who have soared into life with dreams, hopes and aspirations.
  • I wrote a poem to my husband which will publish on our 28th anniversary in a few days. He has blessed me with acceptance. 
  • I have been called a survivor. I often write darkly, stemming from multiple traumas. Most events have been dealt with and memories spark my words. Some thoughts are present in real time. I struggle with major depression and anxiety. Numbness abounds and often I feel unreal. Grateful to all who help me through the waters and times of desert life. 
  • Wow! I shared alot for a private person. 😂

It is all in fun. Be well!