do you not want me
-trying to understand? it is
all there. I see it.
you cannot make it
happen, but sometimes
-calming the storm, but
the flames spark
wildfires. it does not
matter who I am,
just know it is chaos
and your never found.
like being confined
define the keys
and release me.
walk this dangerous place
we remain confused.
(10/2/2017 diary entry. I much like being confined to the words that define but so be it if the keys release me to a strange and dangerous place. I may rebel! Regardless the truth, I remain confused.)
I have been away so long, I forgot what it was like to wake up daily, excited I had churned some words around in my head. And until I set the coffee cup down, and wrote them all on paper, and sent them on their way, I forgot what it was like to share this life out loud.
I am just a little sad that I have been away so long.
I am just a little sad I may be away for even longer.
I am just a little sad.
I have two more classes to go before I graduate. The prospects of searching for a job, being away from my writing desk, even more than I am already away, is frightening. I am at a loss to think I will eventually leave behind a chair, space void of all thought. To think I will be alive, without all the people who have found my voice, leaves me just a little confused. You heard me and listened. And bothered to let me know you exist too.
And now it becomes just a little bit lost to life.
Have time? Stop by and see her absolutely fantastic posts and I am honored such a fine poet would see a sparkle of hope in my attempts.
So, i will reveal a bit about me, as if i hadnt already spilled enough of my soul. First a diversion. I will be traveling to Santa Fe this Friday. oh!!! i am excited, but the intriguing aspect is the capture of a soul in a picture. The pueblos prohibit photography so i will come back solely with memories. i hope my soul is not imprisoned by my words to come and those to have past.
Lovely Blog Award rules:
- Say thank you and provide a link to their blog. See above.
- Share 7-15 facts about you.
- Nominate blogs that fascinate, which I leave open to individual bloggers as I know several are award free. Instead of figuring you out, if you read me, I read you, so you are in the running. Hope you will plunge in, have FUN and reveal yourself! Or maybe not.
- I am extremely introverted. I am an INFP personality. If you are not familiar, you can take a quiz at Jung Personality test.
- I am a fan of Van Gogh, Plath, Jung. All three have inspired me to the end of ages.
- My first introduction to poetry was Emily. Her simple words evoke meaning and a pleasure ensues. Her lifestyle is one I would choose if I ever face a change in my present life.
- I run a zoo. No, not a mega, 500 acre zoo. My backyard has housed dogs, cats, bunnies and my house has invited fish, guinea pugs, mice and birds as friends and family. If i had my way i would live on a farm with goats, chickens and sheep along with all the others. (Aka Beatrix Potter.)
- I have three very successful children who have soared into life with dreams, hopes and aspirations.
- I wrote a poem to my husband which will publish on our 28th anniversary in a few days. He has blessed me with acceptance.
- I have been called a survivor. I often write darkly, stemming from multiple traumas. Most events have been dealt with and memories spark my words. Some thoughts are present in real time. I struggle with major depression and anxiety. Numbness abounds and often I feel unreal. Grateful to all who help me through the waters and times of desert life.
- Wow! I shared alot for a private person. 😂
It is all in fun. Be well!